Apparently the gorilla isn't finished dancing yet.
OldestSon is working through deep denial that he has failed his first semester at college. It's so hard. He loves this school, and loves this program. It is tearing us apart to tell him he can't go back right now. It would be different if he were in a less expensive school. He tends to pretend that nothing bad is happening rather than address a problem before it escalates. He also does not reach out for help when he's struggling -- he checks out. We've had 36 hours now since he disclosed his grades, which he has been hiding for about a week, and he's beginning to figure out alternatives. Not fast enough for his father, who wants to drive his decision process. Dad's feeling powerless, so he seeks dominance, and then he's surprised when OldestSon fights him rather than the problem. Last night, I hung out with OldestSon until 1 a.m. I just asked him questions. It was a good conversation. Today OldestSon will have lunch with an adult mentor he's known for years. Thank God for all the people in our life.
I know my son's a solid guy, and that this crisis is completely normal, and that this is going to turn out well. It just won't be painless.
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Oh, dear. I'm sorry OldestSon had such a hard time -- I know he had such high hopes. I can understand his father wanting resolution -- I would want to step in and "fix" the problem myself, too, even though that would be exactly the wrong thing.
I'll keep him and you and the rest of the family in my prayers.
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