That point when balance becomes motion

I’m in transition right now, with an emerging understanding of what I’m doing next. How appropriate for the New Year. People close to me interpret my suspense as irresponsibility, or a need for direction. I’m looking forward to doing some very specific, challenging, and productive things. Until this week, I had a full-time job that prevented me from beginning, or even planning concretely how it will all fit together. I have no desire to abandon my process to adopt someone else’s plan, or to be shifted to a defensive posture. I’m developing a complex vocation and want to leverage forces that are beyond my control as constructively as possible. A friend once described it as spiritual aikido, in which she learned to anticipate and dodge, and eventually use to advantage, things coming her way that would previously have taken her out.

And the challenges are coming. Boy, are they coming. Deaths, long-term illnesses, emotional black holes, children who would prefer not to grow up, stuff and money and time pressures with a life of their own. A society that is driven by self-interest and fear. Big and little land mines that defy me to stay aware, respond with compassion and invitation, and remain focused on the big picture. Not my big picture. God’s big picture. Shalom. We’re working for shalom here. Peace and justice and health and relationship. That’s where I’m headed.

One of the reasons this isn’t just a single-facet blog is that I really want to live comfortable with integrity and complexity. The reading, the writing, the fiber art, the parenting, the pastoral work, the gardening, the activism – how can I steward all of these with integrity and live a useful life? The abundant, joyful life that has been given to me. I'm supposed to share it. To use it to advance shalom.

As we step into the new year, I’m stepping into new life. It’s all good.

Peace be with you.