Monday, February 2, 2009

25 Things About Me

I put this together because several of my nefarious friends tagged me on Facebook. Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. For what it's worth, this is what I came up with.

1. If 15-20 years ago you had described who I am today to who I was then, I would have laughed.

2. I am married to the finest man I know. We’ve been through hell together. We think completely differently and agree about very little. He really is the best gift I’ve ever been given. I met him in Moscow (but he's American).

3. I have four kids – two bio, two adopted. They are all spectacular, and completely unalike. Each has their own way of making me crazy.

4. By the time I graduated from college, I had moved 13 times, living in 8 countries, on 5 continents.

5. I have been able to speak English, French, Spanish, and Portuguese well, German and Russian poorly, get by in Italian, and curse in Chinese and Arabic. At this point, everything’s rusty – must travel more.

6. Presently, I edit for two leadership consulting firms, and do almost full-time lay ministry within the Episcopal Church. A very non-traditional Episcopal church.

7. Faith (not dogma) is my interpretive filter. My faith is compiled from many influences and dialogues, and although I am a committed Christian, I have a great deal of respect and gratitude for other traditions. Our God loves diversity, as well as unity.

8. When we lived in Arlington, I took my tiny sons to witness firsthand the inaugurations of two presidents. I really wish I could have taken all my children to witness and applaud the inauguration of President Obama this year.

9. I am a happy dilettante in several hobbies: weaving; machine and hand knitting; spinning; and organic gardening. I belong to several guilds just to learn from some incredibly talented people. I love color and texture.

10. My vices are books, yarn, and plants. I ask for horse manure for my birthday and Christmas, but somehow no one takes me seriously.

11. I dye my hair. I think I’m missing my opportunity to have stunning “salt and pepper” hair. I just have salt and pepper roots.

12. When I was 15, on a ranch in Argentina, I was on a runaway horse and rescued by a gorgeous gaucho named Guenther. Fact.

13. My senior year in high school in Brazil, I applied to only one school (UC-Berkeley) and was accepted. My parents panicked, and “asked” me to find somewhere else. My classmate Julio Castellanos had visited William & Mary and said it was beautiful in the snow. So I ended up at William & Mary.

14. While in college, my summer jobs were at the National Zoo, managing (people)food service stands.

15. In 2000, I had cancer and my thyroid was removed. I went from being a first soprano to a tenor. I still haven’t adjusted. I also can’t yell really loud anymore, which is probably a good thing.

16. I knew I was meant to adopt children when I was 6 years old. We didn’t actually do so until 33 years later. Everything in the interim was preparatory.

17. I want to turn our suburban house into a micro-farm, including a few chickens. Don’t tell John.

18. I have one brother. He’s turned out pretty well.

19. I like to get lost. My kids laugh about it, and it drives my husband crazy. You see and learn a lot more by getting lost. I don’t drive around aimlessly, but I’m quite comfortable not always knowing where I am and what time I’ll reach my destination.

20. Each year I take a large group camping in Big Sur for a week. Very low on amenities, very high on fun. The ones who can’t handle the camping leave after dinner and stay in a nearby inn. I hang out with great cooks, and we always eat very well.

21. Five years ago I left Big Sur for a camping road trip through the Pacific Northwest, with my children and two additional kids. Then a friend and her two kids joined us, then another, then another family. By the time we reached Seattle we were 16 people in four cars. We made it to Victoria, Vancouver, Whistler and back, and are all still speaking to each other. I transported friends' children across national borders without passports or notes from their parents -- can't do that anymore!

22. I believe in generosity as a spiritual practice. Tipping and giving things away is important. It’s not ours anyway.

23. I know the power of a good teacher and a positive word. In 1976, Geri de Souza told me that I was an effective writer, and I have believed it ever since. Thank you, Geri.

24. I am more of a student now than I was in high school, college or grad school. I love to read, and I love to dive into new information and figure out how it intersects with, or challenges, what I’ve encountered before.

25. I am allergic to mangoes, apparently because I ate more than my share. I guess that’s fair, but I still wish I could have more.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

We Are One

Time to start again. And what better way than with a celebration of unity and mutual commitment, of communal celebration, and of prayerfully raising up a new leader who calls us all to responsibility and service. Whatever isn’t right in the world, we are capable of answering with our best.

I would love to be in DC this weekend. My heart is there. I so desire to participate in the gathering, in the fellowship, in the respect for this historic moment. Watching from afar, living vicariously through friends who still live in the city I know so well, loving this moment. Years ago, I took my babies, now adults, to witness two presidents inaugurated, one I had voted for, one I had not. Those were big deals; this is so much more to me. This is my world, where there is unity between people who have been brothers and sisters and not always known it. Where everyone is at the party, and all are welcome. Even though I’m here, in California, my heart is there, and I am so grateful to everyone gathered there to mark this moment and “represent”.
I don’t kid myself that all is right in the world, that the future will be smooth, that we are a nation in which grace and justice and wisdom have won the culture. But they have won this day, and maybe one day at a time, we can live into our best selves and our nation’s premise.

Today, life is very good. Blessed, in fact. What a beautiful day.

All the best to you during the days and months to come!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Happy New Year!

We wish you all the best this year! From us to you, much love, and prayers for your wellbeing and joy! We apologize if we haven’t been in touch, but that’s how chaotic life is – we know how long it has been since we sent out Christmas cards, because we moved three and a half years ago and we are still getting holiday cards at our previous address! (We have a REALLY forgiving postal carrier.) All that changed is the street number – we moved down the street, that’s all! But we’ve been here for a while and the house puts up with our rowdy life, and we are very happy in it. Come visit, and don’t expect clean.

Our life still revolves very much around our kids and their various activities. They fill our time, and our home has a 24-hour assortment of young people coming and going. Fun, but food disappears quickly and the den’s always a mess. Life is good.

Richard, 20, has transferred from the University of the Pacific to San Jose State. He’s been living at home, combining classes and working for a bicycle shop, and he will be moving onto campus shortly. He’s doing the hard work of figuring out how to take responsibility for growing up, sometimes under pressure. We’re proud of him, and he’s moving forward. Usually very fast, in a red 21-year-old BMW that he rebuilt from the tires up.

Andrew, 18, is at Oregon State, where he is on a Marine Corps ROTC scholarship. When he’s home, he works for Stanford as a security guard (and on Christmas night interrupted a burglary in progress!). His decision to pursue the USMC route sparked some “lively” discussions between his lefty Christian pacifist mother and former Marine father, but we think all the relationships will survive. Andrew is thriving in Corvallis, and spends time shoveling horse stalls and riding in the mountains with Jen’s Aunt Carol and Uncle Mike – leaving those of us down in Mountain View jealous.

Julia is in eighth grade. She is a phenomenal athlete, and her forte is soccer. Given that she’s interested in boys and clothes and hair and makeup, we keep her REALLY busy with sports. We’re having all the age-appropriate struggles about low-rise jeans and makeup and whether to actually do assigned homework. She will get through this, and so will we. At least she loves athletics, so there’s something we can be on the same side about. She’s very fortunate to have a great support network of dedicated teachers, coaches, and “aunts”.

Ana – well, you wouldn’t recognize her. From a tiny, watchful, cute little imp, she has become a rowdy, confident instigator and tiger. It must come from being the youngest. She is also a whole-hearted athlete, active in competitive soccer, and an enthusiastic student. She’s entering a phase where the rowdiness is occasionally excessive, but with two older brothers to egg her on, we just have to wait it out… In the meantime, she and Julia take hours to work together on their appearance, when they aren’t arguing relentlessly.

John is still leading ProHorizons, which is undergoing major strategic growth right now. There was rumor of him taking a month sabbatical in February, which I really looked forward to, but that plan evolved into some other company-development idea. It feels odd for the business to be scaling up when the rest of the economy is uncertain and scaling down, but that’s what’s happening. Other than that, John continues to coach youth soccer, for the 8th straight year. Even though our girls have moved up to higher levels, John still coaches regular season and tournament AYSO soccer, and it brings out the best in him.

John’s mom, Ann, moved here from Florida three and a half years ago, and she has been in very fragile health. At first, she lived in a senior community here in Mountain View, then in an assisted living facility in Sunnyvale, and now in a very good skilled nursing facility, with all-too-frequent sojourns in the hospital. Ann is now essentially in hospice care, and it has been a subdued Thanksgiving/Christmas season for our family. John’s sister Debbie was able to come visit shortly before Thanksgiving, and we have been able to spend time with Ann almost daily.

I juggle, though not always well. My priority continues to be lay leadership – trying to help other people find, develop, and leverage their God-given potential. I work within St. Tim’s and the Episcopal Diocese of El Camino Real in various capacities, and volunteer at an elementary school. For pay (very important!), I edit executive evaluations for a business consultant, which keeps me busy and thinking about effective leadership. My other interests remain fiber arts (weaving, machine knitting, and spinning) and organic gardening, though I claim no expertise; I do, however, get to hang around in guilds with amazingly talented artists and gardeners, and drink from the fire hydrants of their knowledge. My primary vices are books, yarn, horse manure, and The Economist.

We still have Bagheera, the “large” black cat, who is now ageing and cranky. She’s especially cranky because Simba, the feisty ginger tabby, has joined us, and he delights in taunting her. We also have fish – you know, the “feeder fish” children win at carnivals that survive in a water pitcher for a month so you buy the aquarium setup, then they die? Well, two years along, Troilus and Cressida have not died but grown into rather splendid large goldfish. Friends of Andrew’s have also graced us with Kornally, the only colorless betta in existence. My aunt and uncle just sent us a fish training kit to teach them soccer and various other sports. I’m thinking of building T&C a pond outside, to see how big they grow. Do not bring home fish from carnivals.

There have been other highlights this past year. In February, we took a sailing/ecology education vacation in the British Virgin Islands, which was fantastic. In April I went to a family reunion in New Orleans, which was a rare treat and a chance to spend time with people I love, but see infrequently. We have also been able to get up to Oregon on several occasions for visits to my parents, Aunt Carol & Uncle Mike (and the horses), Andrew, and a couple of conferences in Portland. We didn’t camp at Big Sur this year, but wildfires there spared the campground and we will be going next August. My brother Hugh and sister-in-law Heidi, John’s sister Debbie, and my parents have all been here for welcome visits. With all respect to those who do feel otherwise, the Presidential election was for us a profoundly hopeful and exultant moment. We are very proud of this country, and eager to participate in its renewal.

We wish you the best, and hope that you are well and that life is giving you good but not overwhelming challenges. May your families prosper, may your children and pursuits bring you joy, and may you have enough in your life to share.

Monday, March 5, 2007

I hate to slow down!

I believe in Lent. That doesn’t necessary mean I observe it particularly well.

Some years I’m so clear and faith-aligned -- I move deeper into disciplined listening, and I drink every drop of the readings I’ve chosen, and I wrestle with all my demons, in preparation to feel every pang of Holy Week and rise in ecstasy at Easter. And it’s all sincere. Don’t choke, y’all.

This year, I seem to be challenging Lent to find me and chase me down. I still haven’t surrendered to anything. I definitely still have my head up my a**, which is pretty obvious by my “effort vs. outcome” ratio. If I am drowning in all my interests, desires, and commitments, there’s really only one person who can do anything about that. I’m mature enough not to flail around and yell, “Somebody save me!” but apparently not wise enough to swim out of the current. Which means… I must be deriving some benefit from being overextended and ineffective. Hmmm. We’ll have to look at that.

There are plenty of people who are genuinely beset by circumstances that threaten to crush them. Right now, I am not one of them (unless you count hubris). The more I do my own thing, the less perceptive I am of what God is doing today, and the less responsive I am to go where I am called to be of any value. And you know, really, the more useless I am.

Lent – the antidote to futility. I figure I’ve already wasted a week and a half. Just how much futility does a girl need?

Monday, February 19, 2007

Contents may have shifted...


We flew into Kona Saturday night, joining friends here for a week together on Hawaii. So far so good. Each of my kids has a friend their age to play with, and we’re having fun designing great meals and excursions together.

The day started well. We bought enough groceries yesterday to open a restaurant, so this morning everyone made their way in and chose their perfect breakfast. We decided on a beach to conquer, and packed lunches and snacks. We are ten people. This is a production.


So by eleven (island time), I’m sitting on Hapuna Beach. Life is very good. Knitting, novel, and kids on boogie boards. Peggy is connected by cell to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, vicariously enjoying the party there. Whales making intermittent appearances beyond the swimmers. Please, don’t feel sorry for me. The passion fruit smoothie got a little messy…




On the way back to Keauhou, I started to work through my wish list of what I hoped to do and see while we’re here. Not a long list, but a few things. Cloud forest, volcano, whale watch, snorkeling, a couple of restaurants. Buy a pair of flip-flops (one cannot say thongs anymore, and expect footwear). I just figure when traveling in a group this big, it helps to get everyone’s hopes out on the table at the beginning, rather than the end of trip. Then we can go home glad to have had each other along.

It was supremely helpful to have them here this evening, when John had to go to the emergency room.

Do not try this at home. Do not try this anywhere. John slipped on wet tile and sailed down several sharp steps, his foot and ankle twisted beneath him. Instantly, Mr. Former Marine turned into a gasping, crying, screaming mess. With a little cooperation, we were able to get him into the car and off to the hospital. This is how to see the real Hawaii.


I’m here to tell you, Hawaiian hospitality extends to the local health care infrastructure. The good people at Kona Community Hospital are very nice. My husband was relieved he didn’t break his ankle and foot. He's on crutches for the duration. We’ll see how much of the above-named wish list survives. Poor baby.

Friday, February 16, 2007

I'm Warped...

Last weekend, I warped the loom. Several projects have been whispering to me, all on very textured yarns that would work better as weft than as warp. I finally carved out enough time Saturday to wind off a warp of fine black merino that could carry each of these yarns, and warped the loom. That would be time-consuming enough for an experienced weaver. I’m not an experienced weaver. I’ve only warped this loom three times, and each time I find new ways to make it more complicated than it has to be. It probably doesn’t help that I wind off long warps, to combine projects. The longer it is, the more likely it will be unevenly tensioned, or tangle. Despite my best efforts, it did both. By the time I had finished, I had run all ten yards through the heddles to help untangle it, and back, to roll it onto the beam at a consistent, even tension. SecondSon, who is sixteen, helped intermittently, and I think he actually enjoyed the process. To look at it now, you would never know I made a mess.


The first project, loosely intended as a stole for a friend if it turns out well, is beautiful. It kind of looks like a mermaid costume. Weaving confines the mohair haze and lets different colors and sparkles show up. Greens and turquoises and deep blues. I loved the yarn in a ball -- I love it even more as a fabric. Yesterday morning I got up before dawn, and watched the sky lighten and the sun rise, as I wove. I didn’t know whether to look up or look down.

Yesterday was a fantastic day. Every once in a while, I just feel privileged to live this life. Anyone else probably thinks I’m bizarre, but I’m being blessed in the commodities that mean the most to me. In the span of a single day, I got to: weave for an hour and a half and watch the sun rise; listen to a gospel read whole; drive to Monterey; agree to write an article explaining stewardship; translate for two Spanish-speaking priests; drive down the Salinas Valley – my idea of heaven; sit over teriyaki chicken and help a mission priest envision new life for a church that was dead; then return home to find that some of my best friends were waiting with cake and gifts for my birthday-to-come. Yesterday will be hard to top.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Weekend in Mendocino

Yesterday, we ditched. John and I entrusted the kids to my parents, cut out of our numerous responsibilities, and drove up to Mendocino. It is rare for the two of us to go to the movies together, much less go away for a weekend. I’ve been wanting to come up here for years, and finally just made it happen. Mendocino has not disappointed us.


We had our fine dining experience of the year last night, then walked outside looking at stars, with the full moon shining through tall pines. That alone was worth the trip.

Inevitably, when we go out – to the movies or “away” – we go to some heavy war movie and end up completely stunned and subdued. John suggested “Babel” this evening, which I vetoed, so he spent the evening recounting Fields of Fire to me. I love this man, but a romantic he is not. Dinner tonight was takeout sandwiches, cookies, and a bottle of wine from the general store. But no war movie.

I snuck a little fiber retreat into the weekend. I don’t think John has noticed. Yesterday, I set up the spinning wheel and plied some lavender silk/rayon. I still cannot produce a consistent yarn. The important thing is I am enjoying the process, and I’m improving (I hereby so decree).


Today, I made my way through The Magic of Handweaving, which I enjoyed. I didn’t bring the loom, so we have no way of knowing whether I really learned anything. I also knit endlessly on the teal ribbed shell. I cannot knit, watch scenery, and sip coffee at the same time, so I had to rip back repeatedly because I had neglected to decrease. Same mistake, at least four times. Let’s not go there.

And there is swag. Of course there is swag. Mendocino has a wonderful yarn shop. How could I not go in?


This is Chasing Rainbows tencel/merino in the Madrona colorway, by a local fiber artist. The lighting in here does not do it justice. It is like jewelry. I don’t have a weakness for jewelry. I have a weakness for yarn. I’m happy.


We drove up the coast today – so beautiful. Here’s proof. We spotted whales, or possibly the same whale several times. We walked out to Point Cabrillo lighthouse and back. John is really not interested in owl pellets or coyote and wildcat droppings -- what is wrong with this man? He is more worried about whether I’m going to walk over the edge of a cliff.


The full moon and the stars are out there again. Beautiful. (That's a secret greeting to my godson in Virginia...)